carnival weekend and back to the real school world

so, carnival is over. it was my first one, since last year i was in Chicago for track. pretty fun, i guess. went to Q and not U's basement show, saw this great band called El Guapo. matt says they sound like early Human League but i dont know what that means. got to play music outside for about an hour. went party-hopping last night (wrct, design, drama, and potheads) and rode around in Volt's car. Jo Ma and Volt rapped. finally met Chris Miskis, who is cute and funny. got hit on by a girl, Leslie, which was kinda cool but in that interesting-situation kind of way. i'm pretty sure i still only like boys. stared gratuitously at Neil Donnelly. saw a girl wearing nothing but bottlecaps at the drama party. said hi to random people. randomly ran into Charlie Smart, who took us to the party on beeler. unfortunately it got busted and we lost him in the shuffle, despite the fact that he's a million feet tall. i think i have a crush on him.
conclusion: it was fun. i'd be more descriptive but good memories are kinda dampened right now cause i suddenly got hit by worry when i woke up this morning. worrying that we wont find a place to live next year. worried that i wont get to stick around this summer if i dont get a job or if i dont have a place to live. worried that we wont finish our 212 stuff by Tuesday. (but at the same time wanting Tuesday to come soon cause matt's coming back that day.) feeling bad about barely helping wrct people out with carnival stuff. feeling bad about letting myself get unnecessarily annoyed with people i really like. feeling bad that i probably wont be able to go to music staph this week even though there's an extra lot of stuff to do and i do want to go. worried that i'm in a rut and am too uninteresting/afraid/unmotivated/busy to meet new people.

maybe i'm just secretly anxious about turning 20. probably not though. but you can buy me a present anyway.