your mission, should you choose to accept it

ok next one of you who goes to Florida and does the touristy thing, get me a pair of those personalized shoelaces that you find in all the crappy gift stores, with the cheesy rainbow script lettering. i used to have some in my first-generation powder blue Cara-Beth Vans but they've disappeared. which is surprising, because based on the stockpile of old shoes in the garage, on the garage wall and shelves, in the foyer closet, and in the shoe cabinet, you would think we had kept every pair we as a family unit have owned since the dawn of time.